Saturday, 11 January 2014

Offline Dating.

I've never been a big believer in New Year’s Resolution, thinking they are a far too ‘popular’ and predictable. Ok, Hallmark aren't quite making cards for dry January yet, but it’s a trend that, seemingly, 90% of the population buys into, and, preferring to swim against the tide, I’d rather take things up rather than give them up at the beginning of a new year. 

I also rather enjoy the odd ciggie and would prefer, hands down, to remove my left eyeball with a blunt fork than give up alcohol. How, in God’s name, anyone gets through a tax return during the grimmest month of the year, without the promise of a large glass of Sauvignon at the end of it, is quite beyond me. 

Saying that, I have been doing some thinking recently, and, have decided on one thing. Something that I am giving up. Not for a month, or 6 months, or a year, but forever. 


It must be said, and without wanting to blow my own dating trumpet, so to speak, that there is one thing I know a fair amount about, and that is, indeed, dating. 
I enjoy it as a pastime. Meeting new people, visiting new and interesting places and should the mood take me, indulging in sexual adventures with attractive others. It might also be noted that I have signed up in the past to various online dating sites. An activity, considered fairly textbook in this day and age for people seeking significant others.

Entering myself into the online pool of people, has got me precisely one place - nowhere. 
And after much consideration, my conclusion for this outcome is as follows.

From my experience and, God knows, it’s plentiful, there are two types of men who online date. Younger men who, suddenly realise all their friends are paired up, and sign up to an online dating agency with the hope that they’ll be engage within the fortnight (run for the hills) and old men who are desperate for a bunk up and don’t have the social skills/can’t be bothered/have totally forgotten how to meet someone in real life.

(There is a third, Worse still, than both these categories, the man who masquerades as the first but is actually the second - but more of that later.)

I have experienced both these pools of people and at the ripe old age of 36 have come to the very definite conclusion that neither go anyway to enhance or enrich my life. 

Because the problem is this, when you meet a man online they are seeking, they are shopping for something that they want, be it a instant ‘long term relationship’ or a fuck. Either way, much of the time it is fairly inconsequential who these are achieved with, so long as they are achieved. 

Second to that, an online dating site is essentially a list. A list of people, who can be accessed for 30 quid a month. Meaning that not only is the whole idea of fate throwing people together totally obsolete but that, that list is (oh, too) easy to return to. I’d like a pound for every woman who found there ex back online 2 weeks after they broke up. 

Sigh. Where’s the romance? Where’s the effort? ... you don’t need it anymore because you’ve got

Of course, it works for some and there is no doubt that the likes of Match and My Single Friend have been the start of many a happy relationship. 
But from now on you can count me out. As the saying goes, the definition of madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting the results to be different. 

I’ll also save myself 30 quid a month, which is one hell of a nice bottle of Sauvignon Blanc ... Now you're talking value for money. 


  1. I think you've hit the nail on the head. I had come to the conclusion there were two types of available men - I'm 11 years older than you so it changes things considerably! - they are either the men someone else left, no doubt with very good reason. Or the ones that left. And they left so they could fuck anything with a pulse, once.

    I'm still online dating because I work seven days a week, with my ex - so no chance of meeting anyone at work! And I have very little money or time for going out so unless I happen to meet prince charming in Morrison's online dating is currently my only option!

    1. i know its a tough one! i have a 5 year old so it really isn't an option to be out every night, but to be honest, after an 18 month relationship with an ex who went back on line 2 weeks after we broke up i just can't bring myself to do it again. It's like a don't trust relationships with men i meet online anymore, and sadly the truth about how much a man values and respects you is often not revealed until you break up, as i found out!

      I think it has it's place and is good for a bit of fun but its not what i want anymore.

      I also think you're analysis of the 2 types of men is very accurate (and unnerving!) hmmm... suddenly being single doesn't feel like such a bad option!

      thanks for your comment, really interesting : )

  2. In today’s busy world, it would be wrong to say that something like love at the first sight actually exists. You need to invest a lot of time and emotions to get to know people who share the same interests as you. Dating agency Galway is a good place to interact and meet many interesting profiles who are waiting just like you to meet the special someone. So, what are you waiting for? Create a profile for yourself and get started today.